1. Imbibing too much caffeine. Ah yes, coffee, tea, Mountain Dew, energy drinks and super dark chocolate. They all sure either taste good or give you so called 'energy.' The facts are that they don't give real energy- they pump you up for a while and then either lead to the shakes or a crash. They then cause sleep problems. If you have more than one regular coffee a day, simply ask yourself if it affects your sleep. If it doesn't, then have it! If, like me, only one iced coffee literally keeps me up all night, then you have to think if it's worth it. I write about this a lot as I love coffee. I stick to decaf now- well, as much as possible!
2. Staying in relationships that are argumentative. There is nothing worse for bipolar disorder than fighting. When I used to allow fights to happen in my family, I would have an immediate suicidal thought such as, "I just want to die." In order to stop the thoughts and the pain that comes with them, I stopped arguing. This meant that certain people had to go. It also meant that my contact with some family members had to change. Yes, it was me or them. I chose me. I'm the one who gets sick and has to live with the psychosis and the depression. Interestingly, many people understand this and know that I have to leave contentious situations no matter what. That helps.
3. Letting irritation take over. Bipolar disorder can lead to a lot of irritation and anger. This can even lead to violence. I wasn't having a very smooth day yesterday. I could feel that I was irritated and that I needed to just calm down and make sure I didn't take it out on anyone. Yes, I did have a coffee! That is going to stop! A man pulled out in front of me on a busy road and literally drove across two lanes to get to a side street. I honked my horn and thought- 'my god, what a stupid driver.' Then he flipped me off. I was already irritated enough and this sent me a bit over the edge. I actually had the thought that I needed to chase him down and show him he can't flip me off when he is the one who is stupid! It's hard to explain to others that this feeling is different than just normal anger. When it's bipolar disorder related, if feels like a need to hurt others. As though it would be the right thing to do. Reasoning leaves and it's all emotion. I've learned to fight this and you can too. Because I was already aware that I was irritated for no reason, I kept myself from chasing down the car. I then realized that I needed to change direction in my own day and see what was really going on. I did and the irritation left by the afternoon.
4. Traveling without planning for bipolar disorder mood swings. Traveling is a microcosm of bipolar disorder triggers. Time changes affect sleep that can then cause mood swings. You may be stuck with people you don't really want to be around. You may have to go places that are too overstimulating. Or maybe, if you're a family member or friend, the person with bipolar disorder ruins your travel!
No matter what, just as you have to make travel plans with plane tickets, hotels and all of the other things that come with travel, you have to have a bipolar plan as well.
5. Getting trapped in the bipolar conversation. This one is for family members. This conversation happens when you try to talk to someone in a mood swing. For example, if you try to talk normally to a depressed person, you will be frustrated. Everything you say will be clouded by their depression When you say, "But your life is fine! Why are you so upset?" they can't answer that question.
They will say, "You don't understand. My life has no purpose. I can't find a reason to keep on living like this!" If you keep trying to reason with them, the bipolar conversation starts and no one wins. You have to learn what it looks like when the person you love is in a mood swing- those are the days you have to talk directly about the illness instead of trying to have a normal conversation.
You may know the above are things you definitely need to avoid! But knowledge is one thing, practice is another. We all get caught unaware by triggers and we all think, "Oh, I can do this. It will be fine!" and we are blindsided by a mood swing once again. Managing this illness never ends. We can get a lot better at it, but we have to be vigilant all of the time! No fair, but true. And if you care about someone with bipolar disorder, read all that you can and take care of yourself first. Then you'll have the skill and the energy to help the other person.
2. Staying in relationships that are argumentative. There is nothing worse for bipolar disorder than fighting. When I used to allow fights to happen in my family, I would have an immediate suicidal thought such as, "I just want to die." In order to stop the thoughts and the pain that comes with them, I stopped arguing. This meant that certain people had to go. It also meant that my contact with some family members had to change. Yes, it was me or them. I chose me. I'm the one who gets sick and has to live with the psychosis and the depression. Interestingly, many people understand this and know that I have to leave contentious situations no matter what. That helps.
3. Letting irritation take over. Bipolar disorder can lead to a lot of irritation and anger. This can even lead to violence. I wasn't having a very smooth day yesterday. I could feel that I was irritated and that I needed to just calm down and make sure I didn't take it out on anyone. Yes, I did have a coffee! That is going to stop! A man pulled out in front of me on a busy road and literally drove across two lanes to get to a side street. I honked my horn and thought- 'my god, what a stupid driver.' Then he flipped me off. I was already irritated enough and this sent me a bit over the edge. I actually had the thought that I needed to chase him down and show him he can't flip me off when he is the one who is stupid! It's hard to explain to others that this feeling is different than just normal anger. When it's bipolar disorder related, if feels like a need to hurt others. As though it would be the right thing to do. Reasoning leaves and it's all emotion. I've learned to fight this and you can too. Because I was already aware that I was irritated for no reason, I kept myself from chasing down the car. I then realized that I needed to change direction in my own day and see what was really going on. I did and the irritation left by the afternoon.
4. Traveling without planning for bipolar disorder mood swings. Traveling is a microcosm of bipolar disorder triggers. Time changes affect sleep that can then cause mood swings. You may be stuck with people you don't really want to be around. You may have to go places that are too overstimulating. Or maybe, if you're a family member or friend, the person with bipolar disorder ruins your travel!
No matter what, just as you have to make travel plans with plane tickets, hotels and all of the other things that come with travel, you have to have a bipolar plan as well.
5. Getting trapped in the bipolar conversation. This one is for family members. This conversation happens when you try to talk to someone in a mood swing. For example, if you try to talk normally to a depressed person, you will be frustrated. Everything you say will be clouded by their depression When you say, "But your life is fine! Why are you so upset?" they can't answer that question.
They will say, "You don't understand. My life has no purpose. I can't find a reason to keep on living like this!" If you keep trying to reason with them, the bipolar conversation starts and no one wins. You have to learn what it looks like when the person you love is in a mood swing- those are the days you have to talk directly about the illness instead of trying to have a normal conversation.
You may know the above are things you definitely need to avoid! But knowledge is one thing, practice is another. We all get caught unaware by triggers and we all think, "Oh, I can do this. It will be fine!" and we are blindsided by a mood swing once again. Managing this illness never ends. We can get a lot better at it, but we have to be vigilant all of the time! No fair, but true. And if you care about someone with bipolar disorder, read all that you can and take care of yourself first. Then you'll have the skill and the energy to help the other person.
Julie A. Fast, best selling author of Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder, Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder and Get it Done When You're Depressed is a critically acclaimed six-time author, national speaker, and sought after expert in the fields of bipolar disorder and depression. Julie was diagnosed with rapid cycling bipolar disorder in 1995 at the age of thirty-one, after she had unknowingly lived with the disorder for over fourteen challenging and chaotic years. She regularly experiences mood swings, especially depression and uses the same treatment strategies she writes about in her books in order to continue her outstanding success as an author- even while struggling with bipolar disorder daily. Julie thrives on helping people with bipolar disorder (and those who love them) manage mood disorders so that they can live well in spite of the illness. To learn more about effectively managing bipolar disorder visit: http://www.bipolarhappens.com
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